I’m Sorry for What I Said as a Teenager.
This is what I told my mother this Mother’s Day.
Twenty plus years after the fact it needed to be said.
For teen girls and mothers there is often much regret with how it all went down.
Have you said these words yet?
Perhaps you will release the shame you’ve carried around for what you did as a teen by having this conversation.
And hear me well when I say there is a reason why you did this and it’s bigger than you.
You aren’t bad or uncaring, you felt outrage for how women in your family were treated.
You wanted more for yourself and your mother and felt powerless in getting her to see how you felt.
See it’s all connected.
Our history, our choices, our feelings go back to our relationship with our mother.
After all, our mother teaches us how to be a woman in this world and if we don’t like the way she’s *showing* us we decide whether or not we want the life she’s living.
If we don’t, we typically reject it outwardly.
We say no to the self-sacrificing behavior, not standing up for herself and not living the life she truly finds fulfilling.
We say no by pushing her away.
Many mothers take this behavior as typical teen independence or the need for therapy for her to work through her feelings.
But what most mothers don’t know is that she needs YOU.
She needs you to be your most aligned and fulfilled self.
Truth is, you know you deserve that too.
She needs a mother who will reject the pressures felt from society in favor of herself.
She needs a mother who outwardly expresses her acceptance and love for her body, from the shape of her nose to the size of her thighs.
She needs a mother who stands up for what is right rather than protecting everyone’s feelings or image of her.
She needs a mother who will fight fiercely for her to be heard.
She needs a mother who puts a voice to her needs and leans on her team of support to make things happen.
This isn’t just about getting safety to the other side of the teen years, I’ve worked with enough adult daughters to know that it all needs to come out at some point.
Daughters who grow up with a voiceless mother realize there is more to life than the fight she has had with the size of her body and holding everyone’s opinions as more important than her own.
She’s got work to do now to heal this broken part of her who values what other people think more than her own.
She is ready to live her own life by her own rules and now she has two choices.
She can either do this work alone or do it with you and not only heal herself but heal your bond as well.
Pain from the teen years shows itself around milestones like weddings, moves across country, college, divorce — all because you didn’t learn how to work through the first stage in your relationship.
It can look like:
- Anger that Mom had lower expectations for her siblings.
- Regret that she was so incredibly mean to her mother.
- Sadness that she didn’t feel as important as other parts of Mom’s life.
Why would you continue carrying pain and avoiding hard conversations when you have a place you can do that now?
Multiple ways to work with me right now, whether you are an adult mother & daughter ready to release the past to create a brighter future or a mother of a girl who wants to protect your relationship through the teen years and beyond.
I walk you through everything.
Let’s do this in the English Countryside, inviting me to speak to your group, virtually or locally in the Philadelphia area.
Private message and we’ll choose the offer that is best for you.
